Now I Know My ABC's

So, over Christmas, I was playing a game with the fam, and it turned... as it does so often... silly. But it got me thinking; children are our future, after all, and it's about time someone stepped up to educate them. And that person should (not) be me.

Since I've had this epiphany, I've put it into action. So prepare yourselves. I'm talking fuzzy slippers, roaring fire, and a mug of hot cocoa, because it's story time. Sit back and relax and read this fun and educational story I like to call...

Baby's First Political ABC's

A is for absolutism: the awesome exercise of complete and awesomely unrestricted power in government.
B is for Blagojevich: inspiring story really... you can be a total creep and still get a reality show, even if your political career goes down the tubes. Proof that it's good to keep your options open.
C is for California: lots of votes- keep in mind when choosing a spouse.
D is for Camp David: ka-ching!
E is for electoral college: though they say your vote counts...
F is for filibuster: worked for Mr. Smith, works for you. First rule of politics- you don't need to have anything to say. Just keep talking.
G is for gerrymandering: securing votes by changing electoral boundaries to your advantage.
H is for "Hiking the Appalachian Trail."
I is for impeachment: let us learn from Johnson and Clinton.
J is for juggernaut: a massive, inexorable force that seems to crush anything in its way.
K is for katie courick: she may seem innocent, but she has a dark side. Just ask Sarah Palin.
L is for lobbyist: morality is a tricky thing. So is taking favors.
M is for me: which is what politics are all about.
N is for North Korea and nuclear bombs.
O is for outlays: monetary expenditures. See "P."
P is for presidential perks: limo, airplane, helicopter, house, food, billiards, pools, parties, staff, protection, library, retirement... all this can be yours if the price is right.
Q is for quota: some things take precedence over being qualified.
R is for right wing: pick a side and stick to it, unless of course it becomes unpopular.
S is for speechifying: Can I get an Amen!?
T is for think tank- I always picture those guys with big foreheads.
U is for unaffiliated voter: the underdog's best friend.
V is for vice-president: because everybody needs a scapegoat.
W is for White House: Welcome to Pennsylvania Avenue. We've been expecting you.
X is for politics x: Danger, danger.
Y is for youth of America: they're our future. If only we could get them to pull up their pants.
Z is for zoo (a.k.a. DC): where the politicians live.

How Do You Say "I Love You?"

So, I've got XM Radio in my car. It is one of my most treasured possessions. Seriously. Huuuuge fan. On that XM, I've got the Old Radio channel, where I listen to "Fibber McGee and Molly," "The Shadow," "Burns and Allen," "Our Miss Brooks," and many other old radio gems. I am becoming such a junkie. Anyway, while I was listening the other day, they advertised for what, in my view, is the most ridiculous Valentine's Day website yet... bigplush.com.

I visited the site today, and I found out that you can say "I love you" with a 6-ft. rose that has a little teddy bear clinging to it, a 40 lb. smiling ape, or a 5 ft. tall t-rex wearing a shirt that says, "I ate the teddy bear. Happy Valentine's Day."

Now, don't those sound like heartfelt gestures. The thing is, I'm very, very tempted to buy that t-rex for my friend. I think it would be the funniest delivery ever. But, since you have to shell out serious dough, maybe I'll stick to the classics. I guess if you wanted to go along the same lines, you could buy a teddy bear, draw on some bruises and teeth marks, and put a t-shirt on it that says, "I fought off a t-rex to tell you that I love you. Happy Valentine's Day." Hmmm. Possibilities.

My Favorite Places In The World...So Far

I'm sitting in Aspen right now, waiting to go teach a bunch of middle school kids. Yesterday my fellow Teslas and I put on an assembly for the third grade class. It went great (other than the unfortunate faceplant by a little girl we asked to come up on stage... no worries, she's okay now), but I keep having to remind myself that I am an adult and old enough to do assemblies and teach middle school. I still feel like I'm ten years old most days. Anyway, this has brought on a wash of sentimentalism, and I've decided to make a list of some of my favorite places in the world. Some of them are more exotic than others, and they aren't in any sort of order, but they're all near and dear.

KUOPIO, FINLAND:

I spent a week here, eating fresh pea pods and strawberries at the amazing outdoor market, dancing down streets (seriously), and laughing. It was my first discovery of another country, and it opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at the world. There were many other amazing stops on this trip, but I remember comfort and excitement here.

THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART, NYC:

I went there (for maybe the 60th time) during the last week I lived in NYC. I cried because I had to leave my museums. So sad. I have spent many, many hours in this museum, feeling overwhelmed by the talent and spirit inherent in the place. I love it, partly because I still haven't been into every gallery, and I don't even know how many times I've visited. I have to mention the FRICK COLLECTION while I'm on this post. It is art the way art should be seen.

LUDINGTON, MICHIGAN:

Best. Trip. Ever. Katherine, Elizabeth, Doug, Jon, Jason. Love you all. I've been other times, but that time was priceless. Spooky graveyards, hiking beaches, lighthouses, House of Flavors, Sven the Austrian model, all good.

MY CAR:

Odd choice, maybe, but it is one of my favorites. Cars mean road trips. And those are the best. I have seen a lot of the country by car. Some highlights: the Spam Museum, the Badlands, Craters of the Moon, the Corn Palace, Church history sites from New York to Missouri, Alien Beef Jerky, Pacific Coast Highway, the coast of Maine... and the list could go on and on.

WASHINGTON, MAINE:

I have spent the last two summers here playing for the Medomak Conductors' Retreat. I've made lasting, meaningful relationships, learned a lot about music, and spent a lot of time on the lake. I learned that canoes are my favorites. It's pretty darn delightful.

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, WY AND MT:

Is that the abbreviation for Montana? Oh well. I love this park so much I lurve it. It was while there a couple years ago that I decided my new goal in life (besides becoming Queen of Bollywood): to visit all the national parks. I have barely made a dent, but it WILL happen!

So, these are just a few of my favorites. But they are meaningful favorites. What are some of yours?

Happy MLK Day

This was my day:

1) Let's Get It Started, Black-Eyed Peas

2) We Shall Overcome, Pete Seeger

3) Ms. Jackson, Outkast

4) Beat It, Michael Jackson

5) Girl From Ipanema, Stan Getz

6) Hip To Be a Square, Huey Lewis and the News

7) Ma Nah Ma Nah, The Mother Goose Singers

Tried to go to the zoo, found out that the entire population of the USA was there; tried to go to the Science Museum, found out that the entire population of Canada was there; ended up downtown where I really wanted to buy a dress, found out that it cost more than the net worth of the entire population of Dubai. Yet... still managed to have a fantastic day.

Reasons Why

So, I don't usually do these, but I found this one entertaining. I turned my itunes to shuffle, and whatever song came up answered these questions. Some of them are real thinkers...

IF SOMEONE SAYS, "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY
You May Be Right

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Check Yes Or No

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Stardust

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Cocoon

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Play a Simple Melody

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
It Just Comes Natural

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU
Carried Away

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MOST OFTEN?
Stop This Train

WHAT IS 2+2?
Magnificat

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
One

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Baby, It's Cold Outside

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
String Quartet in E-Flat, Adagio

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Stitched Up

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Don't Be Cruel

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Fix You

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Don't Stop Believin'

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Silver Bells

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Didn't Leave Nobody But the Baby

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Halloween

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
The Beauty of the Rain

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
It's Not My Time

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Sweetest Goodbye

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Farewell Andromeda

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Namouna

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Mexico

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Holdin'

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Sweet Afton

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
The Stranger

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Return to Sender

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Reasons Why

2010

So I know I'm a little late to jump on this train but...

It's time I make some resolutions for 2010. (P.S. I love saying 2010 because it feels like I'm in a sci-fi future movie.) I recently learned that people have been making New Year's Resolutions since Ancient Babylon, so who am I to buck 6000 years of tradition?

My sister and I decided to go co-resolution this year. We are both going to get over our physical injuries and take to the skies, glider-style. Yup, hang-gliding. I may also fulfill my quarter-life crisis requirement in the form of skydiving. Either one would be a huge achievement for me, as I used to be deathly afraid of heights. But I am bound and determined.

I promise pictures.

Stranger Than Fiction

Go here. Tell me that I'm not a horrible person for being soooo amused by this. I'm still laughing.