Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Hiatus

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I will be back
When the year is new.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Tuesday Task

And this week's how to...


Jose Cuervo Christmas cookies
This is the BEST Christmas Cookie recipe EVER!

Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervoagain to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make surethe Cuervo is still OK, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuckin the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on theturner.If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just! pry it loose with adrewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift twocups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoonof sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beatoff the turner.Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and makesure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS

Have a good day

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Fa La La

Things I love:
Christmas
berries
Cake Wrecks
Chuck
eyeliner
focaccia bread with olive oil
nieces
nephews
villains
puns
mistletoe
scriptures
bubble baths
Dickens
road trips
shoes
laughter
cooking
the end of finals
Maine
music
Popover Cafe
Tesla Quartet
IKEA
sleeping
mountains
puppies
flowers
Yellowstone
parents
rain
popcorn
people watching
Gray's Papaya
city life
walks
the ocean
70 degrees
my new gloves
Ginger and Fred
french fries
red hair
Jimmy Stewart
snowmen
dancing
earrings
Gilmore Girls
Ludington
canoes
inside jokes
red velvet cupcakes

Monday, December 1, 2008

Working Wednesday

Happy Decemberween everyone. I've decided to celebrate with the promised second installment of "How To..." Today we turn to the subject of greenery. Every house needs plants. Mankind cannot survive without nature, and nothing can brighten up a home like a lily or a daisy. Be it of the tree, vine, flower, or pod variety, there's nothing like a plant. (Except plastic. If you think plastic plants cut it, then you are no longer allowed to read this blog. JK. But I do have my eye on you.)

This particular plant is very useful. It has gathered accolades on Broadway and in the cinema in decades past. This is because it not only brightens up the place; it can also double as a virtual guard dog for your living space. You can keep your valuables safe without spending all that extra cash on a Rottweiler. It truly is the perfect plant for anything from a barbershop to an evil fortress (cough cough, Lady Lugubrious). What is this fabulous floral? This flowering fanged foe of flies? Oooh. I just gave you a hint!

. . .

The Dionaea Muscipula, otherwise known as the Venus Fly Trap.


You have to admit it. This thing is cool. I mean come on! A carnivorous plant? Don't you kind of want to know what prompted that creation? It's science non-fiction at its very best. But seriously, if you are considering buying this rather extraordinary specimen, then you will need to know HOW TO take care of it. (Question: anyone know why it's a Venus fly trap? Is this because it looks like something from space? Maybe it is something from space.) Anyway, here goes:

1) Find out what a terrarium is. Then put your fly trap into that. Make sure it gets sunlight but isn't too hot and that it has plenty of moisture.

2) the fun part: No wimpy plant formula for this little beauty. Venus fly traps consume 2-3 flies per month and gain their nutrients that way. Wow. Also, you can feed them small crickets. Did you get that? Small crickets!?!

3) I am not making this up. Direct quote from reputable plant care website: "Never, never, never feed your fly trap hamburger. The fat content in hamburger will be fatal to your plant."

4) And a tip of my own. Never, never, never sing to it. Unlike other plants, this one has a tendency to break out into showtunes. And you have no idea what a diva that venus fly trap is.

So there's the scoop all y'all. Aren't I just a fount of information? Here's a last little tidbit for you to take with you. (Don't say I never taught you anything.) Did you know there are other carniverous plants? Yep, I finally found a lily I'd never consider for a bridal bouquet-- the cobra lily. Oh, there's also sundews, pitcher plants, and butterworts. I'm pretty sure they were all named by the Addams Family.