Monday, December 1, 2008

Working Wednesday

Happy Decemberween everyone. I've decided to celebrate with the promised second installment of "How To..." Today we turn to the subject of greenery. Every house needs plants. Mankind cannot survive without nature, and nothing can brighten up a home like a lily or a daisy. Be it of the tree, vine, flower, or pod variety, there's nothing like a plant. (Except plastic. If you think plastic plants cut it, then you are no longer allowed to read this blog. JK. But I do have my eye on you.)

This particular plant is very useful. It has gathered accolades on Broadway and in the cinema in decades past. This is because it not only brightens up the place; it can also double as a virtual guard dog for your living space. You can keep your valuables safe without spending all that extra cash on a Rottweiler. It truly is the perfect plant for anything from a barbershop to an evil fortress (cough cough, Lady Lugubrious). What is this fabulous floral? This flowering fanged foe of flies? Oooh. I just gave you a hint!

. . .

The Dionaea Muscipula, otherwise known as the Venus Fly Trap.


You have to admit it. This thing is cool. I mean come on! A carnivorous plant? Don't you kind of want to know what prompted that creation? It's science non-fiction at its very best. But seriously, if you are considering buying this rather extraordinary specimen, then you will need to know HOW TO take care of it. (Question: anyone know why it's a Venus fly trap? Is this because it looks like something from space? Maybe it is something from space.) Anyway, here goes:

1) Find out what a terrarium is. Then put your fly trap into that. Make sure it gets sunlight but isn't too hot and that it has plenty of moisture.

2) the fun part: No wimpy plant formula for this little beauty. Venus fly traps consume 2-3 flies per month and gain their nutrients that way. Wow. Also, you can feed them small crickets. Did you get that? Small crickets!?!

3) I am not making this up. Direct quote from reputable plant care website: "Never, never, never feed your fly trap hamburger. The fat content in hamburger will be fatal to your plant."

4) And a tip of my own. Never, never, never sing to it. Unlike other plants, this one has a tendency to break out into showtunes. And you have no idea what a diva that venus fly trap is.

So there's the scoop all y'all. Aren't I just a fount of information? Here's a last little tidbit for you to take with you. (Don't say I never taught you anything.) Did you know there are other carniverous plants? Yep, I finally found a lily I'd never consider for a bridal bouquet-- the cobra lily. Oh, there's also sundews, pitcher plants, and butterworts. I'm pretty sure they were all named by the Addams Family.










3 comments:

Katherine said...

HA! It is the PERFECT plant for a fortress! We could have a display in the MOMM, too! I wonder if I fed hamburger to the rubber plant in my office if it would also become carnivorous? Right now I'm just excited that it's growing and not, you know, the other thing. (Dying, not shrinking...though I'm glad it's not doing that, either.)

MMMegan said...

Did you SEE the cobra lily? What the... What a creepy looking plant! I'm also glad your plant is not shrinking or dying. And, I'm thinking the MoMM is totally in need of a sunken garden courtyard.

megan said...

HA! Amazing, just amazing.
2 comments and a question:
1 - I have a rubber plant. Consider yourself warned.
2 - That musical/movie scared me out of my mind when I was a child.
....and the question:
Does it have to be human? Does it have to be me?