Hiatus

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I will be back
When the year is new.

Tuesday Task

And this week's how to...

Jose Cuervo Christmas cookies

This is the BEST Christmas Cookie recipe EVER!

Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water

1 tsp baking soda

1 cup of sugar

1 tsp salt

1 cup of brown sugar

Lemon juice

4 large eggs

1 cup nuts

2 cups of dried fruit

1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervoagain to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make surethe Cuervo is still OK, try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuckin the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor. Mix on theturner.If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just! pry it loose with adrewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift twocups of salt, or something. Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoonof sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beatoff the turner.Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and makesure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS

Have a good day

Fa La La

Things I love:

Christmas

berries

Cake Wrecks

Chuck

eyeliner

focaccia bread with olive oil

nieces

nephews

villains

puns

mistletoe

scriptures

bubble baths

Dickens

road trips

shoes

laughter

cooking

the end of finals

Maine

music

Popover Cafe

Tesla Quartet

IKEA

sleeping

mountains

puppies

flowers

Yellowstone

parents

rain

popcorn

people watching

Gray's Papaya

city life

walks

the ocean

70 degrees

my new gloves

Ginger and Fred

french fries

red hair

Jimmy Stewart

snowmen

dancing

earrings

Gilmore Girls

Ludington

canoes

inside jokes

red velvet cupcakes

Working Wednesday

Happy Decemberween everyone. I've decided to celebrate with the promised second installment of "How To..." Today we turn to the subject of greenery. Every house needs plants. Mankind cannot survive without nature, and nothing can brighten up a home like a lily or a daisy. Be it of the tree, vine, flower, or pod variety, there's nothing like a plant. (Except plastic. If you think plastic plants cut it, then you are no longer allowed to read this blog. JK. But I do have my eye on you.)

This particular plant is very useful. It has gathered accolades on Broadway and in the cinema in decades past. This is because it not only brightens up the place; it can also double as a virtual guard dog for your living space. You can keep your valuables safe without spending all that extra cash on a Rottweiler. It truly is the perfect plant for anything from a barbershop to an evil fortress (cough cough, Lady Lugubrious). What is this fabulous floral? This flowering fanged foe of flies? Oooh. I just gave you a hint!

. . .

The Dionaea Muscipula, otherwise known as the Venus Fly Trap.

You have to admit it. This thing is cool. I mean come on! A carnivorous plant? Don't you kind of want to know what prompted that creation? It's science non-fiction at its very best. But seriously, if you are considering buying this rather extraordinary specimen, then you will need to know HOW TO take care of it. (Question: anyone know why it's a Venus fly trap? Is this because it looks like something from space? Maybe it is something from space.) Anyway, here goes:

1) Find out what a terrarium is. Then put your fly trap into that. Make sure it gets sunlight but isn't too hot and that it has plenty of moisture.

2) the fun part: No wimpy plant formula for this little beauty. Venus fly traps consume 2-3 flies per month and gain their nutrients that way. Wow. Also, you can feed them small crickets. Did you get that? Small crickets!?!

3) I am not making this up. Direct quote from reputable plant care website: "Never, never, never feed your fly trap hamburger. The fat content in hamburger will be fatal to your plant."

4) And a tip of my own. Never, never, never sing to it. Unlike other plants, this one has a tendency to break out into showtunes. And you have no idea what a diva that venus fly trap is.

So there's the scoop all y'all. Aren't I just a fount of information? Here's a last little tidbit for you to take with you. (Don't say I never taught you anything.) Did you know there are other carniverous plants? Yep, I finally found a lily I'd never consider for a bridal bouquet-- the cobra lily. Oh, there's also sundews, pitcher plants, and butterworts. I'm pretty sure they were all named by the Addams Family.

Friends Don't Let Friends Make To-Do Lists

Help!!! It's attacking me!!! It's leaching onto my soul and pulling me down into the depths of despair with its deadly didactic dictatorship of doom!!! !


!!


True story. There was once a girl. She thought to herself, "I'm so glad Thanksgiving is coming up. It will be the perfect time to catch up on my list of stuff to do. I've been soooo behind, but I'm going to get all caught up and head into the rest of the semester feeling confident and relaxed."




And then IT happened.




(gasp) The List. (other gasp)




Said girl made a list. Now, this wasn't just any list. It was split into categories, beautifully organized and succinctly stated. It was the best, most comprehensive, list the girl had made all year. It was beautifully crafted, with bullet points, underlines, and italics. She named it Lester. I think that's where she went wrong, really. In naming the list, she somehow endowed it with an evil spirit.

The girl began crossing things off Lester. She emailed, shopped, banked, telephoned, and wrote. She cooked, called, fixed, and practiced. She sat for hours and hours in front of a computer screen, thinking, "It will end soon, I've crossed off so many things." Then, the first day ended.

She awoke the next morning knowing she had accomplished a great deal the day before. She decided to reward herself by reworking Lester, as she usually gained a vast amount of satisfaction being able to cross things off and see the list shrink. This is when she discovered the terrible truth. Lester had become the gerbil of all lists. Those twenty things she did yesterday had somehow multiplied into forty more things to do. She once again categorized and bullet- pointed. She thought that she must be miscalculating, so the girl began anew, trying to whittle Lester down to the size of a post-it note.

Post-it no.

As the girl worked, Lester began to stretch. Whenever the girl tried to cross something off the list, Lester arranged for the entire universe to point at her and laugh. At the end of the day, the girl once again fell asleep dreaming about little feathers tickling that one spot on your upper back that you just can't get to with either hand.

And this torture went on for days upon days and months upon months, until, at last, the girl gave up. Lester won. He was now the master.

Stupid list.

Thrifty Thursday

As promised, here is the first installment of my new "how to" series. My first pick is a very versatile vessel of vicissitude. I'm thinking about flanking my apartment door with two of them in hopes that people will always feel welcomed into my home. So, here are the instructions on

how to...

paint your own garden gnome.

Step 1. If you're feeling particularly precocious, you may fashion your own gnome body out of ceramic or even papier macher. If you're feeling Semi-Homemade, then go buy a starter gnome, making sure he has not yet been painted. There are many, many, MANY websites to do this. More than you may have been expecting. My favorite just might be this one.

Step 2. Decide what kind of gnome this is. Is he a bastion for peace and welcome? Is he a voodoo gnome? Is he going to be the centerpiece at your next major event? Is he going to stand guard in front of the Matterhorn (see above picture... it's real.)? The answer to these questions will determine your decorating scheme. After all, we wouldn't want a bastion of peace to leer at our visitors, now would we?

Step 3. Paint and let dry.Step 4. Put in place of prominence so all can enjoy.

When the Future Looks Bleak

So, this spring I am graduating from Juilliard with my master's degree. I'm going out into that great big world to see what I can make of myself. I will constantly be expanding my horizons and living "the dream" and... BY THE HAMMER OF THOR!!!

I will have 2, count them, TWO degrees in viola.

Hmmm...

This realization has given rise to some serious thought. Seriously. So thoughtful. Anyway, I realize that I may never actually have a job that pays actual money. And therefore, it might be a good idea for me to learn how to do some things by myself, thereby avoiding that tricky "paying the professionals" thing. Now, I realize I may not be the only one in this situation (pretty please) so I'm starting a new section on my blog. Every Week (maybe "Fix It" Fridays?) I will feature a very practical solution for those everyday needs. If you'd like to weigh in or email me with some pesky problem you've been having, I will also attempt to solve that for you. Just call me Madame MacGyver. Anyway, stay tuned for installment numero uno.