It's A Jungle Out There

I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now...

But instead, I thought I'd share with you some of my favorite unenforced laws in NYC. You see, here in the Big Ap, things work a little differently. Sure, there are rules, as you can see illustrated, but, well, there is also a tacit understanding between cops and civilians that the civilians will blatantly disregard any rule they deem unworthy, and the cops will let it slide as long as no one gets seriously hurt or maimed in some way. Even then, there's a bit of a sliding scale.

For example, one of my fav stories of NYC life comes from a former bishop of mine, who watched a news story about car theft in the mean city streets. A man, wanting to protect his moderately-priced, sensible car, put a sign in the window saying, "No sterio." When he returned to his car later that day, there were shards of glass and a new sign in the window saying, "Get one."

Then there's the jaywalking. I have to admit, this is one of my vices in the city, and after being here for a couple of years I've realized that unless you take advantage of the opening, you're not going anywhere on time. Consequently, I will be lucky to make it out of NYC without being hit by a cab. (Incidentally, my roommate was hit, but it was the cab's fault, and she's okay.) There's also a good story about this unenforced law. Now, I would like to add an aside here that I heard this second-hand and have no way of proving it to be true or false. Either way, it's worth sharing, because it's a perfect illustration of the code of conduct I was discussing earlier.

It goes like this: A few years ago, some high-up city officials decided jaywalking had gotten out of hand and that this law should be enforced. To that end, they ticketed a woman. This woman, being the plucky New Yorker she is, sued the city for harassment (after all, why was she ticketed and not someone else), and WON. Therefore, that law too went to an early grave.

One more example here. I often walk outside and see this:

Ah, the double parking fairies, or as they are really called, the car shepherds. Yes, that's right. This is a real industry that has cropped up in New York. I read an article about it by Bill Geist, and I've been fascinated ever since. The car shepherds are people who get paid by the month to move cars around. You see, there are all sorts of rules about where and when you can park on the street, and since parking is such a precious resource, you could potentially never get to work if you worried about it. So, instead, you hire the shepherds. They get the keys, and you call them when you want your car back. Most of the time, you don't even know where your car is, but they do. If the car gets ticketed, the shepherd takes the fall. It's a pretty good system actually, but it does mean that double parking happens on a daily basis. I guess we should all just be glad the streets don't look like this:

So there you have it, everyone: the law of the jungle. The code of conduct for everyday life in the mean streets of New York City-- "If you don't bother me, I won't bother you. If you do bother me, I'll make sure to let you and everyone around you know. So don't bother me."