I Guess He Didn't Like the Concert

Yesterday, my quartet played on a street corner for two hours. Seriously. It is a little classier than you may think, though... we were actually asked to do it by the owners of Paradise Bakery. Well, things were going really well. We had about forty or fifty people watching for a good long while, and they were really getting into it. We tried to mix Mozart with some good old-fashioned classics like The Killers, and people appreciated our fine endeavors. So, imagine our surprise when, in the middle of a particularly beautiful strain of Schumann's "Traumerai" we hear a major crunch behind us, followed by a collective gasp by our audience. We turned around to see that a big hotel van had just nailed a (parked) Escalade. But, the show went on without so much as a pause in our music. Later, my friend congratulated me on stopping traffic.

This incident (super embarrassing, I'm sure, seeing as how it happened in front of the largest collective group on the street) brought up a discussion of our most memorable concert experiences. I have several doozies, but I think the most bizarre was the concert I attended last year at Manhattan School of Music. My friend was conducting the "Pines of Rome," and the last movement begins very quietly, builds up in energy and then blows the roof off. Well, the music began, and the audience leaned in to just make out the sounds of the off-stage brass. Suddenly, the principal second violinist keeled over, hit her head on her stand, and lay there on the stage. The conductor wildly grabbed for, and thankfully caught, her violin, but let's just say the mood was spoiled. Eventually, paramedics arrived, the girl was revived and escorted off stage, and the music began again. There really is no recovery for that, though.

I thought this was a pretty good story until a friend told me hers. Apparently, she was playing trombone in an orchestra concert when a woman got up and ran toward the front of the audience. She began to wildly wave a paper over a man's face. Then she tried shaking him. Then she called an ambulance. Then the paramedics came. Then they took the newly-deceased man out on a gurney. And the music never stopped!

This tale has put things into perspective for me. And given me a new paranoia. I'm sooo not sleeping the night before my next concert.

Just So You Know, I Think You're...

Yesterday, on my way out of town, I stopped at a gas station to fill up before reentering the enormously overinflated price zone that is the Aspen/Snowmass area. I was standing at the pump when a man rode through on his bike. He was super tan, tattooed, and wearing a knit cap with no shirt. He was also late-thirties to early-forties. He looked at me and said, "You have beautiful hair. You also have a beautiful smile." Then he left without another word. I have to say, it made my day.

While living in NYC, I got hit on... a lot. Now, this has absolutely nothing to do with my looks. It has everything to do with the fact that I am female and alive. When I first lived there, the whistling and catcalls were a bit disconcerting, but over time, they became a welcome dose of self-affirmation. I learned to love New Yorkers for the very trait that upsets most of the rest of the world- their tendency to say whatever pops into their heads.

It definitely wasn't all catcalling, either. One of my best friends came for a visit one time. We dropped her luggage off at my apartment, and then we walked outside. When we reached the first corner, a woman began ranting and raving about how I invaded her personal space (although you'll have to trust me when I say I had absolutely NO desire to enter her personal space bubble). We crossed the street accompanied by the dulcet tones of her shouting, and we came to another corner. This time a truck full of men honked and whistled at us as we crossed. I turned to her and said, "Welcome to the Big Apple."

Lately I've been thinking about my friends past and present. I've noticed that those from my religious background are much less likely to pass along both compliments and critiques than those who are not. This phenomenon, I believe is brought on by the desire in our culture to always be kind but not to lead people on. I'm thinking, though, that the New Yorkers have discovered an opportunity to move past the obvious into actually getting to know a friend. I've decided to take a page out of their book; I'm hereby dedicating myself to a new goal-- be more emotionally honest. It's not that everyone off the street needs to know my current state of mind...chaos would ensue in most states. But, I'm going to be more forthcoming with compliments, more aware of how things affect me and others, and discuss more readily things that upset me so as to actually work them out rather than bottling them up inside, hopefully culminating in a better balance and more zen-like frame of mind.

So, here's to all those New Yorkers who believe in letting people know exactly where they stand (and where they should and should not be standing).

I Just Found Out There's No Such Thing as the Real World

A couple of years back, my high school sent an "alumni follow-up questionnaire" to assess how well (or poorly) I felt prepared by Olympus High School for the "real world." I did nothing about the form, but somehow it was magically filled out for me. Upon reading the answers, it was painfully clear that my oldest brother had taken the initiative. I'd like to share his answers with you today.

DIRECTIONS: Please read the following questionnaire and respond honestly. We want to improve our school's programs and we need your valuable input. Your help will be greatly appreciated. All information you provide will be kept confidential. Thank you.

PART I-The Preparation You Received at OHS
1. Did you feel adequately prepared by OHS in the following areas:
Language Arts__Not at all, Im fixin to learn soon
Math__Not really, 1+1=4?
Science__Not at all, I learned about gravity, but I don't like it
Social Studies_______

2. Did you feel adequately prepared by the Counseling/Guidance Department at OHS?
__Yes, definitely
**For the Most part
__Not really
__No, definitely not
Comments: My councilor never wanted to date me though :(

3. Did you ever visit the Career Center at OHS?
Career?

4. Did you feel adequately served by the Career Center and Career Planning Services at OHS?
Career?

5. When you left OHS, did you have the skills you needed for your post-high school job, training program, college, or military experience?
**For the most part
Comments: They wouldn't let me join the military. I'll make them pay!!!

6. What skills did you lack that OHS should have helped you develop?
I lack the ability to say no, and I lack small motor skills.

PART II--Your Experience When You First Left OHS
1. When you first left high school, what did you do? Check all that apply.
__Worked
__Job Training
__College/University
__Military
**Other- please specify: Sweat Shop Overlord--Cheap t-shirts!!! Call for rates!!!

2. WORKED. Name of Employer: Granite School District
Job Title: Lackey
Salary or Hourly Wage: Yes
Main Job Duties: Sycophant
How did you learn about the job? MySpace
What was the MAIN reason you took the job? Needed to find myself, and the peace corps wouldn't take me.

3. JOB TRAINING. Name and State of Program: Spammer/ State=Despicable
What kind of job were you being trained for? Supreme ruler of all we survey
Did you finish your program? I am still being trained.
If NO, why did you leave before finishing? Those rats wouldn't accept my dominance.
How did you learn about the program? Telepathy
What was the MAIN reason you entered the program? Want to rule the world.
How did you finance your training? Slave labor

4.COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY. Name and State of School: Ohio State
Major Subject Studied: Remedial English
Did you change your program while in school? Yes, several times
Did you finish? No
If NO, why did you leave before finishing? I wuz smart enough to play football.
How did you learn about the school? matchbox cover
What was the MAIN reason you entered the school? My parole officer said it would keep me out of a career in high school counciling.
How did you finance your schooling? Petty larceny
How would you rate the school in meeting your needs?
Poor, should have gone to Michigan

PART III--Your Current Work/Education Status
1. What are you doing now? Check all that apply.
**Working
**Job Training
**College/University
**Military-state branch: Kansas Navy
**Other-please specify: I beat up old people for money and wrestle kangaroos at Circus Circus.

2. WORKING. Name of Employer: Granite School District
Job Title: Peon
Salary or Hourly Wage: 1 thimble of rice per week
Main Job Duties: try to avoid the whip
How did you learn about the job? the voices in my head
What was the MAIN reason you took the job? hit rock bottom
Do you enjoy your job? Yes, definitely. I've been hit so many times I enjoy it now.
If you would rather be doing a different kind of work, what would that be? Lawyer

3. JOB TRAINING. Name and State of Program: Immigration "Specialist", Mexico
What kind of job are you being trained for? hopping border fences
How did you learn about the program? Tijuana weekend
What was the MAIN reason you entered the program? Lucrative kickbacks
How are you financing your training? blackmail
How would you rate your performance? Excellent
Do you enjoy the program?
Yes, definitely. Border guards are cruel, though.
How would you rate the program in meeting your needs? Excellent

4. COLLEGE/UNIVERSITY. Name and State of School: Olympus Jr. High School, UT
Major Subject: Drama Geek
Have you changed your major? No
How did you learn about the school? State law
What was the MAIN reason you entered the school? The 7-11 clerk told me to get out or he'd call the cops again.
How are you financing your schooling? Voter fraud
How would you rate your performance? OK
How would you rate the school in meeting your needs? OK

PART IV--Your Experiences at OHS
1. What courses or programs at OHS have helped you the most in your life after high school?
swirlies, hazing, gym

2. How did the courses or programs help you?
Fear is a great motivator.

3. If any programs were particularly helpful, what were they and how did they help?
I got REALLY good at loitering.

4. How could programs at OHS have been MORE helpful?
Fire the truancy officers.

PART V--Your Evaluation of Your OHS Experience
1. What was the MOST BENEFICIAL part of your experience at OHS?
Graduation

2. In what areas would you have liked MORE support?
I only needed more support in gym.

3. In your opinion, what do current OHS students need to know that will help them most in life after high school?
Life is hard, and you won't be able to compete with your state-sponsored education.

4. When you were attending OHS, did you give your best effort to succeed in school and prepare yourself for the future?
No, definitely not.
Comments: Attend?

5. Could OHS have done more to motivate and involve you in preparing for life after high school?
Yes, definitely.
Comments: shock therapy

6. If you could go back to your time at OHS, what (if anything) would you do differently to better prepare for life after high school?
If I could go back in time I would go to 1748, not high school! DUH. Maybe 1511... that was a good year too.

7. Please rate your overall experience at OHS in terms of how well that experience prepared you to succeed in life after high school.
Excellent. You've made me what I am. You completed me!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME. Please use the enclosed envelope to return your completed questionnaire to OHS. Also, if you have an up-to-date resume, please enclose it with your questionnaire.

I kind of want to send it in.

Just Some Thoughts

Tonight I had the great fortune of visiting my Great-Aunt Bertha. She is one of those people who typifies "salt of the earth," and I'm glad the opportunity of going to see her. She told some fantastic stories, and I learned more about my extended family than I knew before. I hope you'll indulge me while I share a couple that I think are worth repeating:

The first story she told was about her mother's family. Her grandmother died when her mother was very, very young...so young that her only memory of her is looking into her coffin. Soon afterwards, her father remarried, and life went on. Unfortunately, her stepmother didn't get along with one of her brothers, and her brother had a set of grandparents sowing seeds of dissent in his ear. Things really blew up one day when his father was away at work, and the stepmother told him to leave. He packed up his belongings in a red handkerchief, tied it onto a long stick, slung it over his shoulder and left. He was not even twelve. It was years and years before the family had any word of him, but apparently he went to California and made a good life for himself as a machinist in a factory.

Another story Aunt Bertha told is of her grandmother, Sarah. Sarah's mother too died when she was young, and Sarah was the oldest daughter in the family. She had to grow up very fast, and she spent her life taking care of her siblings, father, and eventually, her own family. Her brothers went to college, but she never went to any school. She never learned to read and write. She married a good man, and they had four small children when he was called on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He served faithfully, and they communicated through letters read and written by one of their sons.

These stories have made me think about my place in the world. This all happened less than 100 years ago. I am only two or three generations removed from these stories, yet my life is so very different from theirs. I cannot imagine having to be a grownup at the age of 10 or 11. I cannot imagine my life without the ability to read or write, skills that have brought me no end of joy. The blessings of easy travel, instant accessibility to communication, and education have truly changed the world. Of course they bring their own sets of challenges, but I am so grateful for them. I am also grateful for a long legacy of faithful, hardworking people who love the Lord and love their family.

Memorial Day Fail

Happy Memorial Day, everyone. I guess it's a really happy Memorial Day for the local weatherman who last night showed a picture of people gathering around gravestones in a cemetary, commenting that "this is a picture of people celebrating and doing fun things with their dead relatives."

Here's hoping you all have an inappropriately good day.

Things I've Learned This Year

As I come to the end of another school year, I'm reflecting back on what I've learned. This has been a particularly interesting year, the first with my quartet, in a new state, with new responsibilities. So here are some pearls of wisdom I've come to know...

1. When life feels out of control, paint your toenails. Things seem just a little bit better when your toes are pretty.

2. Don't eat at restaurants which have what they serve in the title. To be honest, I've known this for a long time, but desperation really drove it home on a recent trip.

3. If you can't say anything nice, leave the room. It's okay to take breaks. Especially if there's a threat of physical violence or emotional abuse hanging in the air.

4. The viola rocks. This is obvious, but I thought I'd stick it in here.

5. If you run into someone you haven't seen for a decade, don't assume they're the same person they were 10 years ago. Let people grow up.

6. Accidents are just that. They're not the end of the world.

7. Road trips are not complete without 80's on 8 and 90's on 9. I love me some XM Radio.

8. If you live in the mountains, you may have to shovel a foot of snow off your car in May. Deal with it.

9. Kids have no concept of age. One kid guessed I was 80. One guessed I was 40. Guess which one freaked me out more.

10. My 20+ years of musical training mean nothing to the general population. For them, it's most exciting when I play Coldplay or do sound effects on my viola. This is okay. You never know who is going to take this and run with it. These things won two little boys over to my side recently. They now want to play the viola. It also makes people think I'm cool. Really, I guess this means fake it till you make it.

Cheers! To life lessons!

It's a Month

This was my mid-April to mid-May:

3 flight attendants yelling at me that I can't take my viola on the plane, 2 car accidents, 1 cancelled flight, 4 hours waiting for that cancelled flight, 1 failed competition, 5000 things I need to do, 3 things I have done, 1 bout of food poisoning, 1 boy trouble, 1 beloved dog death, 8 million verbal comments I have filtered in the last month, and 11 large boxes waiting for me to pack and move.

In other news, I ate here. This pretty much sums up South Bend cuisine. Sorry it's sideways, but I appreciated the truth in advertising just waaaay too much.

On the flip side: 2 little boys who want to play the viola after hearing me, 1 little girl who told me I'm pretty like a princess, 3 great colleagues, 2 days before I go home, 1 week spent in Aspen, 2 months to look forward to spending in Aspen, 1 beautiful tree outside my window, 2 new recital dresses for an amazing deal, 1 night of good sleep, and 3 amazing series of books to put things into perspective. The world isn't so bad after all, is it?

I would like to end this post with a note of confidence from one of my favorite fiction writers, L.M. Montgomery: "Isn't it wonderful to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?" Thank you, Ms. Montgomery, for your years devoted to enriching the human soul. You have inspired millions of little girls to use their imaginations, and you have spoiled us for anyone except Gilbert Blythe.